


what if we could?

by rocketshoes



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale is in love, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Love Confessions, M/M, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Pining Aziraphale (Good Omens), Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Rated teen for language, crowley always has been, multi-chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2020-06-02 13:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19441978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketshoes/pseuds/rocketshoes
Summary: six thousand years since Aziraphale met Crowley.two thousand years since he began to fall in love.eighty years since he realized it.what happens when, after all that time, he realizes that maybe, just maybe, something could come of it?





	1. a prologue, of sorts

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter is an introduction, a recap of Aziraphale’s feelings and thoughts over the years.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a few thousand years, he began to wonder if it was normal, after knowing somebody for so long, to feel differently about them. if it was normal to hold them in a different regard than what he recognized as friendship. Aziraphale couldn’t be sure.
> 
> one thing he was sure of, however, was that when he was around Crowley, he wanted nothing else.

on several occasions, throughout Aziraphale’s several thousand years of knowing Crowley, it has occurred to him that there has never been a relationship like theirs. 

sure, other immortal beings have had friendships, but never an angel and a demon. never on earth, among humans. never for six thousand years. 

the lack of precedent allowed for a certain amount of ambiguity between them. neither knew what could be expected of their friendship after a few millennia of habitual meetings and lunches and bookshop-wine-drinking sessions. sometimes Aziraphale almost wished that there had been a friendship offs this caliber before, that he could get an idea of what things should be like at this stage, that he could ask somebody what was normal and what was extraordinary. 

for instance, after a few thousand years, he began to wonder if it was normal, after knowing somebody for so long, to feel differently about them. if it was normal to hold them in a different regard than what he recognized as friendship. Aziraphale couldn’t be sure. 

one thing he was sure of, however, was that when he was around Crowley, he wanted nothing else. 

as he began to adjust to this new affection he had for Crowley, he discovered that he had desires he did not have before. innocent, small things, but different and new and unwelcome. they struck him at the oddest and most mundane of times, like when Crowley sat next to him on a park bench and Aziraphale suddenly wanted to rest his head on the demon’s shoulder, or when the two stood up and he wanted to grab Crowley’s hand. 

it wasn’t until nearly two millennia after his initial realization that Aziraphale was able to put a label on what he was feeling. he was attempting to find Agnes Nutter’s book through a pair of unsuspecting Nazis amidst the second world war when things went south, and Crowley came to his rescue. 

Crowley, a demon, entered a church, just to save Aziraphale from a couple of humans. after Crowley dropped a bomb on the church, Aziraphale was ready to jump into his arms when a burst of panic shot through him. the books. he had brought rare books to lure in the Nazis and now they were destroyed. but Crowley wordlessly reached down, pulled the bundle of books from a Nazi corpse’s grasp, and handed them to Aziraphale. 

“little demonic miracle of my own,” Crowley had said, and Aziraphale knew he loved him then. 

unfortunately, with this epiphany came the knowledge that nothing, nothing, could ever come of it. for one, Aziraphale wasn’t even sure if demons could feel love. for another, even if they could, he could never fall into relations with one. 

even if it sometimes pained him to be so close to everything he wanted, dating a demon was something he could Fall for. besides, he tried to convince himself, it wasn’t right. they were on opposing sides. they were enemies.

of course, Aziraphale never truly believed that last statement. not since Crowley had first introduced himself all those years ago. but it helped to rationalize things that way, as much as an angel loving a demon could be rationalized, at least. 

so, things continued that way for the next eighty years. Aziraphale continued loving Crowley, being Crowley’s friend, and convincing himself that he can never be more than that. for him to reconsider, an event like no other would have to occur. something unprecedented, something big. 

not much, in the universe, is bigger than Armageddon.


	2. epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we’d be like godfathers, the demon said, snake eyes gleaming, and Aziraphale knew he’d made a dangerous call.   
> —  
> Aziraphale survives the apocalypse but still must try and survive his feelings for Crowley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2! this took longer than anticipated, my apologies for that. this part has some canon divergence but only because i couldn’t remember the exact dialogue from certain relevant scenes.
> 
> in other news, i decided this story will have 3 parts, so keep your eyes peeled and pages refreshed for the next and final chapter! in the meantime, enjoy this one!

“things are afoot,” Gabriel had said. at that point, Armageddon wouldn’t technically initiate for another eleven years, but that statement, so brief yet packed with implications, set off another Apocalypse within Aziraphale’s brain. 

he’d grown used to life on Earth, and rather fond of it too. he couldn’t help but find the humans endearing, not to mention all the wonderful things they invented! books, sushi, dancing (he couldn’t be certain that Crowley hadn’t invented dancing, but humans most definitely expanded upon the art)... what would happen to those when the Antichrist killed everyone?

even worse than all that, if the Earth got destroyed and Heaven and Hell went to war, Aziraphale might never see Crowley again.

he was in no way prepared to think about that, however, so he focused his attention on doing his job. unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), that was something he’d never been all that great at. 

once Crowley set things in motion, it was only a matter of waiting for the child to grow. Aziraphale would have to go about his life for the next decade, tending to the bookshop and, now and then, indulging in sushi, until the Antichrist turned 11. at least, that’s what he imagined he’d do, until he met up with Crowley the morning after the delivery. 

they’d barely even begun conversation before Crowley asked Aziraphale to betray heaven to prevent Armageddon. really, the nerve of him. as a demon, he can get away with practically anything as long as it’s evil. but to be good, that’s much trickier. Aziraphale couldn’t muck around screwing up the divine plan!

he was ready to leave when Crowley asked him to lunch, insisting he owed him from their shared crepes in Paris. and oh, that had been such a lovely encounter, and Crowley looked so desperate to keep Aziraphale’s company, and really, the Almighty couldn’t blame him for conceding now.

later, they retired to the bookshop for some aged wine, as always. after a confused and confusing (and very drunk) discussion regarding dolphins and brains, the two sobered up to settle their argument. 

as it appeared to Aziraphale then, Crowley wouldn’t take no for an answer when it came to his plan to divert Armageddon. 

“Crowley, dear, i cannot interfere with the Divine Plan. besides, i’m not so sure it can truly be done.” 

Crowley raised an eyebrow at him. “what about the ineffable plan?” Aziraphale blushed, remembering their bumbling first interaction. “and it can,” Crowley continued, leaning forward in his armchair. “we can do it. together.” he had his sunglasses off, so Aziraphale could see his lovely eyes unobstructed. “isn’t it your job to thwart wiles anyway? if you think about it, you’d just be stopping me from doing evil. that’s not against the Plan, now is it?” 

Aziraphale considered that. considered spending the next eleven years practically raising a child with the love of his life. “well, when you put it that way...” he said, pretending the years he’d spend alongside Crowley had nothing to do with his decision. 

Aziraphale may have royally screwed up by agreeing to this, but the mischievous glint in Crowley’s eyes and the sly grin that pulled at his mouth made it worth every potential reprimand. 

we’d be like godfathers, the demon said, snake eyes gleaming, and Aziraphale knew he’d made a dangerous call. 

so, Aziraphale spent the next decade or so trying to accomplish two impossibilities for the price of one: influencing the Antichrist to the light without passing out from being so close to Crowley all the while. 

fortunately, both seemed to be working, or so Aziraphale thought, until it came about that they had been watching the wrong boy. naturally, this caused some complications. the week that followed was the most eventful in Aziraphale’s time on Earth since he had attended the International Sushi Festival several decades back. 

a lot of things happened, a lot of things changed, but the ones directly tied to Armageddon were all tidied up, thanks to the right boy, after the encounter at the Tadfield air base. 

but the things that stuck, that couldn’t be washed away or put back in place so easily, were the interactions Aziraphale shared with Crowley. 

let’s go off together, the latter had said, and Aziraphale had to catch his breath. did Crowley even realize the connotations of his words? surely, he must. he wasn’t stupid. but Armageddon was happening, and they couldn’t just leave (no matter how tempting the idea was - then again, temptation was Crowley’s specialty). 

so Aziraphale tried to divert Crowley’s pursuit with the biggest lie he had ever told — i don’t even like you — but it didn’t work, not for long, because barely a day had passed before Crowley pulled over on the side of the road to try again. 

“we can run away together! alpha centauri!” Crowley looked at Aziraphale frantically, and the angel’s heart twisted painfully in his chest. oh, Crowley, he wanted to say, that’s all that i’ve dreamed of for so long. but they couldn’t, could they? of course not. and not only because they had a planet to save. Aziraphale couldn’t risk being that close to Crowley. he didn’t trust himself not to give in if they got too close. even if Crowley felt the same way — which Aziraphale had great trouble believing, despite the implications of Crowley’s two proposals — they were hereditary enemies, sworn by oath to hate each other. it could never happen. the sooner the both of them accepted that, the better. 

after the looming threat of the end times had passed, Aziraphale was still replaying those moments in his head. Crowley wanted to run away from the fight, from all of it, with me, he thought to himself. was it a hint? does Crowley... could he share Aziraphale’s affections? now that Aziraphale thought about it, this wasn’t the first time Crowley’s interest had seemed a little more than friendly.

most obviously, the time he preserved Aziraphale’s suitcase of rare books after saving his life. Aziraphale couldn’t have been the only one to feel something that night. it was palpable. 

or what about the Bastille? appearing out of nowhere to save Aziraphale from discorporation, and getting crepes with him?

or the fact that he calls Aziraphale angel in public, when he is well aware of the connotations it has in human society? 

Aziraphale tried to shake off these thoughts. they were of no use to him. the belief that Crowley loved him back would only make room for feelings of hope, and hope was a very dangerous thing to be feeling. it couldn’t happen. not ever. that was what he needed to be thinking. 

but then, the unthinkable happened. Crowley repeated a statement he had uttered numerous times before, and it resonated with Aziraphale in a way it never had before. it made something deep inside his soul click into place, something that changed everything. 

“we’re on our own side, angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! kudos/comments are always very much appreciated :) please comment any suggestions/questions/critiques and have a wonderful day!


	3. conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “they had finally gone too far for the angel to claim loyalty to heaven and now he had no excuse. no reason not to- well. no reason not to love Crowley. no reason not to tell him.”
> 
> Aziraphale confesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i am SO sorry for how late this final chapter is coming. if you’re coming back to read this, bless. hope you enjoy, sorry again, it’s my b

our own side. Aziraphale and Crowley, together against the forces of heaven and hell, defying chance and nature and the Plan. 

Aziraphale felt his heart speed up, because for the first time, he realized Crowley was right. they had finally gone too far for the angel to claim loyalty to heaven and now he had no excuse. no reason not to- well. no reason not to love Crowley. no reason not to tell him. no one can stop us now. 

accepting the truth was one thing, however, and going about it was another entirely. 

as Aziraphale went about planning what to say, he realized how- well, how human the process was. it made him feel embarrassed, but also further endeared to the humans. he had always wondered why they felt such shame and fear about something as inherently beautiful as love, having always felt it for all of Her creations, but now- love like this- he understood. 

that was another issue. his angelic love for all things and creatures. how could he explain to Crowley that what he felt for him was different? that it was more than the feelings he’d been programmed with? that it transcended his obligatory affectionate nature? 

Aziraphale had no choice but to love the trees, the birds, the humans — it’s not that he wouldn’t had he been given the choice, he’s rather sure he’d love them all anyway — but Crowley... the demon was another matter. Loving demons was not part of an angel’s duty. not only did Aziraphale’s love for Crowley exceed obligation, it defied purpose. loving Crowley went actively against everything heaven stood for, and Aziraphale went ahead loving him anyway. 

logically, Aziraphale knew that Crowley’s demeanor towards him implied similar feelings on the demon’s part, but he couldn’t help the nagging worry that he would be rejected. he had to remind himself of Crowley begging to run away together, of him inviting Aziraphale to his flat, of all his teasing and twisted kindnesses, to work up the nerve to talk to the demon. 

he thought about inviting Crowley to the park, since it had been such a nice setting for so many landmarks in their relationship, but ultimately settled on the comfort and privacy of the bookshop. 

they exchanged pleasantries, or rather, Aziraphale greeted Crowley, who grunted a halfhearted reciprocation as he made himself comfortable on one of the backroom’s old couches. Aziraphale sat next to him and rubbed his hands over his lap nervously. he knew he had to say something. they were here for a reason. 

“angel?” Crowley asked, sensing the discomfort in the air and growing bored of the elongated silence. Aziraphale met his gaze. “everything alright?” 

“of course, dear Crowley.” he took a deep breath. “do you remember the books in the church?” the demon looked at him inquisitively, nodding slightly. “i was so worried, i’d gotten carried away getting rid of those nasty men and i’d forgotten about the books, but you- you saved them, kept them nice in that little suitcase and handed them right back to me, no harm done.” Crowley was really paying attention now. Aziraphale pretended not to notice. “that was such a kind thing of you to do, Crowley, and it was like you didn’t even have to think about it, you just did what was kind. despite it all, all the rules and the Plan, you showed me kindness, asking nothing in return, and Crowley-“ one more breath, “i think that’s when i knew.” 

“knew what?” Crowley asked, knowing the answer and sounding more affected than he would have admit. Aziraphale turned to face him properly. he’s taken off those sunglasses of his and he had a clear view of his eyes and all of the affection and hope they held. it was enough for the angel to abandon all remaining doubt and restraint. 

“oh, Crowley.” he shifted closer, took the demon’s hand in his own. “i’m sorry, my dear. it’s taken me so long. you’ve been so patient with me.” a tear of emotion escaped Crowley’s eye, barely trailing down his cheek before Aziraphale wiped it away with his free hand. “i’m afraid i’ve had quite a bit of catching up to do.” 

“angel.” Crowley shook his head, took Aziraphale’s other hand. “don’t. don’t apologize. i- i never even expected-“ 

“that i would love you?” they both let out a breath at the word finally having been said, and Aziraphale knew they were on the same page. He pulled his fingers free to take Crowley’s face in his hands. “i love you, Crowley. in spite of everything i’m meant to be, i love you. oh, how could i not?” 

Crowley leaned into Aziraphale’s touch, gripping his arms desperately. “I love you. i’ve loved you all along.” 

Aziraphale nearly swooned, just from hearing him say it. “all along?” 

Crowley sniffed, nodded. “since the garden.” 

the angel made a soft sound and pulled Crowley fully into his arms, holding him to his chest. “the garden. oh, Crowley, Crowley. you have been patient.” 

“it’s worth it. everything. it’s all worth it.” 

Aziraphale pulled back slightly, just far enough to search the lovely snake eyes in front of him. right there, right there in front of him. close as ever. “Crowley..” he began to ask, suddenly shy again. “can- can i kiss you?” his voice was barely a whisper, more of a breath. 

Crowley grinned, gently knocked his forehead against Aziraphale’s. “angel. always.” and he leaned in. 

the kiss was such a mundane thing, so simple, so human. but in a way, that’s what made it so perfect. an angel and a demon, loving each other in spite of all things evil and divine. they’re their own middle ground, the perfect limbo. their own side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! i hope you enjoyed. comments are so very much appreciated<3 
> 
> my tumblr is @bergsbergcountysherif, hmu if you wanna chat about good omens or whatever !!

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment with any questions or suggestions! i will update soon. my tumblr is @hey-thats-his-cigar , i am pretty active there!


End file.
